Chef Charles Smithenstein
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Bakersfield, CA 93390-0669
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THE AMERICAN INSTITUTE OF CULINARY POLITICS-ELEMENTAL NEWS OF THE DAY COMMENTARY-OPINION-SPORTS-FOOD SERVICE FOR THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 13, 2020 BY CHEF CHARLES SMITHENSTEIN
“Let’s take a stroll down memory lane and visit the 2020 Democratic Candidates’ Boot Hill, Pt. 1, the First Nine dropouts” by Chef Charles Smithenstein
WINTER SESSION 2020
BLOG POST #3,392 AT THE AICP-END
267 DAYS UNTIL ELECTION DAY 2020
Here are the first NINE Democrats to take their places on the Democratic Boot Hill, 2020 Edition
Delano, CA 93216, 02-13-2020 Thursday: Mama mia, folks. New Hampshire primary election knocked out two candidates- Andrew Yang and then Michael Bennett- and almost a third- Tom Steyer- who quickly returned to the running- at least at the time I sat down and began tapping the keys. All around me in the kitchen, however, there is pandemonium as we are busier than hell but my sous chefs and line cooks have everything under control so here I am, keeping you as up to date as I possibly can.
As the results roll in, it appears that Bernie Sanders is going to come in first, followed by “Wall Street Pete,” uh, I mean little Mayor Pete (does this guy look like a chipmunk or what), then Amy Klobuchar, followed by Lyin’ Liz Warren and then “Smokin’ Joe” Biden. Following them was the billionaire, who in a rash moment, tossed in the towel but then recanted, followed by poor Tulsi Gabbard and the aforementioned bailouts- minus one- Deval Patrick. Why he remains in the fray is beyond me.
We do this thing here at the blogsite: the “Democratic Boot Hill,” although this is the first time you have ever heard it said here that way. We have been chronicling the entry and exit of various candidates so let us pick up where we stand today. Ready? Let’s go.
The first fellow who entered the race left not long ago: former Maryland Congressman John Delaney. He entered- get this- on July 28, 2017, thinking that if he ran for a good 20-24 months before anyone else truly leapt into the running, he would somehow make it to the top. A decent man with some solid ideas, he bailed the race on January 31, 2020, becoming the sixteenth candidate to leave. Wow. The sixteenth to say, “Au revoir.”
Let’s go back and look at who left first. Do you remember? I sure as heck do because the fact that he thought he could win was baffling. The guy’s little more than a drooling, farting moron. Ooops, I gave it away with that last adjective: Congressman Eric Swalwell. He entered the race on Monday, April 08, 2019 and left on Monday, July 28, 2019. Whoa, we dodge a bullet with this guy.
Next to leave the race was another putz, Gov. John Hickenlooper of Colorado. He joined the race on Monday, March 04, 2019 and exited on Thursday, August 15, 2019. He plans to run against Republican Senator Cory Gardner. Good luck.
Next to depart the running was Gov. Jay Inslee of Washington state. His ONLY plank on his platform was global warming and doing battle with it. He entered the running on March 01, 2019 and bowed out (did he get the hook?) on Wednesday, August 21, 2019. Se la vie.
The fourth candidate to bolt the barn was Congressman Seth Moulton of Massachusetts. A seemingly normal guy, he leapt into the battle on Monday, April 21, 2019 and tossed in the towel on Friday, August 23, 2019. Maybe next time?
The next one to announce she had no chance was New York junior Senator Kirsten “Whitey” Gillibrand. She threw her undies into the running on January 15, 2019 and after generating one meme and one meme only- ‘Gimmie some ranch,” she picked them gnarly undies up and put them back on Wednesday, August 28, 2019. Anyone miss her? Nope? Just asking…
The next joker (and he is a joker) was Mayor Bill De Blasio of New York City. This crackpot forced his way into the running on May 16, 2019, talking about beating “Con Don” and then to no one’s notice left it on Friday, September 20, 2019. Cheapskate was not willing to spend his own money. What a bum.
The seventh Dem to leave the race is someone almost no one knows: Ohio Congressman Tim Ryan. Much like Delaney, he was too sensible and too moderate to draw any attention in a left-wing hyper-socialist scrum. He entered the race on Thursday, April 04, 2019 and to no one’s notice announced his departure on Thursday, October 24, 2019. Bon voyage, doc.
The eighth chump to go home and try to convince his wife to gobble baby turds he claimed were ‘avocados,’ was former Congressman Robert Francis “Beto” O’Rourke. That sack of armadillo crap entered the running on Thursday, March 14, 2019 to enthusiastic crowds of young people and sadly announced he was going home on Friday, November 01, 2019. The only surprised was him. LOL
The final yoyo we will conclude with today is ninth dropout, Mayor Wayne Messam of Miramar, Florida. He entered the running for some unknown reason on March 28, 2019 and mercifully ended his run on Thursday, November 21, 2019.
Tomorrow, we will pick up with the next nine boneheads to enter the running and then exit the running and who knows, maybe we will have another one if Gov. Patrick says, “Adios, muchachos” and crosses the border back to Massachusetts.
This is fun. See you tomorrow.
Foodservice Management Professional, FMP, Mixologist, Food server, and Cook
I have been in professional food service for a long, long time, moving into management back in 1973. At the time, I was the Food and Beverage Director at one of the hotels in Bakersfield, CA, located on Union Avenue. I was in my late thirties at the time. I am still working at one of the local hotels in the nearby town of Delano, CA, a place that has been my home for the past 10 years. Our city has experienced marvelous growth and is fast becoming a player in county politics.
Chef Charles Smithenstein writes from Delano, California.
Chef Charles Smithenstein is a moderate-to-conservative Republican
Contact me at thechuckster61O@hotmail.com
CHEF CHARLES SMITHENSTEIN
END COMMENTARY 02-13-2020
COPYRIGHT © 2020 BY MHB PRODUCTIONS
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02-13-2020 Thursday—Political Topics and Essays, Part MMLXXVIII: “Let’s take a stroll down memory lane and visit the 2020 Democratic Candidates’ Boot Hill, Pt. 1, the First Nine dropouts” by Chef Charles Smithenstein.
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Smithenstein, Charles. “Let’s take a stroll down memory lane and visit the 2020 Democratic Candidates’ Boot Hill, Pt. 1, the First Nine dropouts.” Political Topics and Essays, Part MMLXXVIII
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